2005-08-12 - 2:09 p.m.
Two kids taking naps at the same time, there is almost nothing better and so very rare in my house. So, I am savoring the quietness and taking some time to update here.
Let's see. Nathan is sticking his bum up in the air when lying on his stomach and wants to crawl soooo bad. He is only four months old and I think he will be early at getting mobile. That scares me to no end. I have a feeling he is going to be a handful and into everything. Haley and Nate are so different as babies. Haley was colicky and very "high demand." She was like that from the day she was born. In fact, I used to laugh when I was in the hospital learning how to nurse her, I realized before she would latch on she had to get all worked up and yell at my chest and then she would start to nurse. Not much has changed; she still needs to get all worked up before doing something new and then goes about doing her new task with precision. It�s just the way she is. The one thing about her right now, that is driving me crazy, is the incessant whining. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but the whining makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Really, it drives me CRAZY. Now I just ignore her and tell her I don�t understand that language and it sometimes works but more often than not doesn�t do anything except makes her whine even more. However, she always has been a careful child. She really doesn�t get into things without asking first and I can trust her for a few minutes alone in another room. I know she won�t climb the furniture or write on walls or get into my make-up. She�s never been that kind of kid. She asks for permission and then whines about it if you say no. Which brings me back to Nathan, who I think will be opposite from her. Why not, he is completely opposite so far? He sleeps through the night, smiles all the time, rarely cries and only does if he needs something, like he�s hungry or wet� the usual things. Haley's just the opposite. So I have a feeling that Nathan will be the kid that is calm and quiet and will not bother to ask permission, but will quietly get into everything. We�ll have to see of course, time will tell, but I think I�m going to have eyes in the back of my head for this one.
I actually think it is wonderful to have kids that are so different. I appreciate their uniqueness and love every fiber of their little bodies (although I really could do without the whining :).
What else? Nate is getting baptized in a couple of weeks. We had to go to a pre-baptism meeting with the priest. There were four other sets of parents and Godparents there. The priest said he didn�t recognize any of us as being church attendants. He�s right with us; it had been a good year since I attended church there. The only thing is that he really chastised us and told us how hypocritical we were by not following through with our religion and that a baptism is not just an excuse for a party. I know I should be bringing my kids to church on a regular basis and I do feel badly about that. I do, however, attend church periodically at a shrine that I enjoy going to. My husband does not have a deep faith, if any at all, so it�s hard to get him to go with me and taking one and now two small children alone is difficult. I used to go fairly regularly but I was kind of turned off because the priest kept harping on the need for more money for the church and I wasn�t feeling connected to the church at all. Those may be lame excuses and I realize that� so in a nut shell, I went to church this past Sunday because I was shamed into it. I agree with what the priest said, if we are claiming to be catholic and want our kids baptized we should follow through and set good examples, however, I don�t like the way he did it. I don�t feel any sort of warmth coming from the church these days. I have wanted to get my husband more involved or even slightly interested in faith since I met him and every time he does anything church related he hears a priest essentially yell at him for not being a good catholic. So there you go, he certainly doesn�t want to be part of that, who wants to be criticized at every corner. I feel as though I know I am a good person, I know we are a good family and lead good lives. We are caring people who support charities and try to do the right thing, we don�t lie or steel or do drugs. We are solid people with or without weekly mass. I have a deep faith and I pray regularly because that�s how I feel connected to my faith. There are so many others that go to church every Sunday and leave contradictory lives. Who is right? That�s not me to judge, but I don�t believe that all those priests that have been convicted of child molestation are any closer to God than I am and we know they were going to mass every week.
So the bottom line is� I went to church and plan on going again this Sunday. Like a true catholic, guilt works wonders on me, whether or not I like to admit it.
I�ll end on that note. Bye for now.
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