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2005-09-13 - 2:19 p.m.

My heart is broken for my little girl.

She had her third day of preschool today. When I picked her up I asked the teacher (who btw is just out of college...very, very young) how Haley is doing. She said she is still shy but just starting to break out of her shell. Which took me by surprise, because on the two days that I dropped her off she goes right to playing and doesn't seem to be timid at all.

When I pick her up there is a white board that describes everything the kids did in class that day. It said they read a book, something about what I could do when I was a baby, and that they made a picture with paint sponges and a family book something or other. So when I got Haley to the car, I looked in her backpack in her "communication" folder where her papers are kept and there was nothing that she made in there. When I asked her where her painting was she burst into tears and said that she wasn't able to find a seat and couldn't paint. She then said that the boys in her class were mean to her and wouldn�t play with her or wouldn't let her play with the blocks and walked away from her. She said when she went outside a girl was on the swing and she wanted to use it but she didn't know the girl and never got to use it. She was hyperventilating and was so upset I pulled over opened the back door and went to hug her. She wouldn't hug me though, she just said no.

So my heart is absolutely breaking for her. I asked her if she still liked school and she said she didn't know. Which is so different from her previous statement that she wanted to go every day not just two days a week.

Maybe it was just a bad day, we all have them, or maybe she was just tired. She did fall asleep in the car after her outburst, although she had a really good nights sleep.

I didn't know what to say to her, I just wanted to cry with her. So I told her that she should try to play more friendly kids, maybe some of the girls and that she should let the teacher know if she wants to paint and there isn't a chair. It's so hard because I don't know what actually happened. She can be shy, without a doubt, but she makes friends really easily at the park and anywhere that she is around kids. She's mostly shy with adults. She can be VERY bossy at home, so I know she can be assertive, but I have a feeling she is being timid in school and that's why she's not getting to do the things she wants to do.

I feel like an incompetent mother, I don't know what to do. I feel like going and yelling at the brats that made my daughter unhappy. Obviously I wouldn't do that. I have her teachers email, maybe I'll email her with what Haley said and see if she can shed some light on the situation, or at least let her know how Haley is feeling maybe she can keep her eyes open to it.

I have a pit in my stomach over the whole thing and the worst thing is I just know there are going to be a thousand more situations like this as my kids get older. How will I ever manage to keep it together?

She has many years of school ahead of her, I really don't want her to dislike it this early. Plus, what about her self esteem, doesn't this crap really start in junior high? That's when I remember feeling like an outcast... I got over that, at least I thought I did. Maybe old wounds are being open for me with this...

Oh boy, I hope Thursday goes better.

previous - next

Disney... Disney....Disney - 2006-03-05

Stuff - 2006-02-18

She's back - 2006-01-22

Short update - 2005-12-23

I hate shopping - 2005-12-10

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